It is sometimes hard to find things to be grateful and thankful for in this process

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.~William Arthur Ward

December 20, 2016 - CD 11
Yesterday I had my trial transfer and saline infused ultrasound. We also had our financial counseling appointment. I was in pain the entire length of the counseling, which thankfully was not long.

The last appointment I had, they had a difficult time finding my veins and I had to be stuck multiple times. It was an early appointment and I hadn't had enough water yet. I wasn't going to let that happen this time. I also had to have a full bladder for the trial transfer, so I chugged water all morning before my appointment.

About 5 minutes from the clinic, my body really needed to get rid of that water. We got there, checked in and took seats in the waiting room. Our 10:45 appointment turned into an 11:05 appointment and I was sitting in the waiting room trying not to cry.

I'm sure there was a lot of information I glazed over at our financial appointment, but between H being a little unruly (ok, he was pretty good, just loud) and my urgent need to relieve myself, my brain couldn't take in all that was being said.

We finished that appointment, and promised to pay about $16,300 by Christmas. (*YIKES!*) We already knew how much it was going to be and were prepared for it. Had it been a complete shock, I would have still been non-pulsed by it because I was concentrating on not wetting my pants.

When I finally got to the examination room, I was a bit put off because I was dressed in heavy winter clothes and had my cell phone in my pocket and about 5 lbs of water inside me, which made me look like I was SO much heaver than I actually am. Yes, I've gained weight because of recent holiday food indulgences, but not THAT much! (*double YIKES!*)

It felt like an eternity before the Dr. came in to perform the procedure. I had a cold speculum shoved up there, a catheter filled with saline shoved up there and injected into my uterus. There was lots of poking and prodding and pushing from the outside too from the ultrasound.

I did my best to talk through it and concentrate on talking and not the pain going on in my nether regions. This procedure is no joke. It wasn't horribly painful, but it was way worse than a PAP. Oh, and I also had to pee so bad. I seriously thought I might go right on the table in front of the Dr.

Here's the good news:
While I was enduring this pain, and discussing the merits of YETI coolers vs. the many cheaper versions (yes, a fascinating conversation to have while your lady bits are exposed to two people and you are trying to forget about it) the Dr. Said to the Ultrasound Tech: "Oh my, look at that." Of course, That was enough to make me momentarily forget that I was in pain. I was expecting to hear him say there was scar tissue from my first pregnancy and delivery, etc. I was bracing myself for the bad news. Instead, he continued: "That is beautiful. Textbook perfect uterus."

Of course, I was relieved to hear that there was nothing to stand in the way of this IVF cycle. I must admit too, that I was kinda proud to have such an ideal organ. Had I not already been pretty puffed up with urine, I would have found a place for pride.

I don't know the exact stats on the issue, but I have to think that with my really good follicle count and my Mary Poppins uterus, our chances of a successful cycle should be way better than average. We do have severe male factor infertility, but that is pretty much taken care of at the fertilization phase of the procedure. We don't have issues with my fertility or my ability to carry a baby.

It is sometimes hard to find things to be grateful and thankful for in this process, but I was reminded that we have 'the best' form of infertility (If there is such a thing.) Yes, MF infertility is the only thing I can think of where someone else has to get treatment for your issue, but it is treatable -and relatively easily. I am grateful that we don't also have female infertility issues to deal with.

I have much more to say on the issue, but I guess I will save it for another post.
This is Christmas week, and there is a LOT I have to get done. Remember friends to find time to think about why we are celebrating CHRISTmas. This time of year can be more stressful than fun or relaxing. Stop, breathe and thank God for sending His Son to live among us so he could eventually save us from our sins.