My first IVF cycle was almost a surprise. There was no buildup, no waiting for my period to start, etc. (Read through past blog posts for more of my story) Even our consultation (three years ago today btw) was supposed to be for a sperm donor and we were prepared to leave not really having made any progress or plans. Because of this, I didn't have time to know what could go wrong, or research the snot out of the procedure, medications, etc. I just lived it.
In one sense, that was easier on me. I just went with the flow and did what I needed to do as it was presented to me. I didn't have a road map to go by and didn't know what to expect.
This time, I am a seasoned veteran and -for better or for worse- I have expectations based on my experience and the research I have now done. The following is a (LONG) list of things I am glad I know now.
ENJOY!
1. When they say IVF costs __ amount, they are talking about the IVF procedure proper. This does NOT include testing before the procedure, medications, prenatal care at the clinic, etc. The additional cost for IVF on top of the IVF procedure can be about $10k. Be prepared.
2. You will have to be on BCP for anywhere from two weeks to a month. This seems counter-productive, but it is important.
3. Even though insurance won't cover IVF, clinics (ours any way) require it to be on file. We did get about $1k covered in testing, blood work, etc. so, that was a nice surprise.
4. In the spirit of #3, you will be booked for more than one appointment at a time. Our clinic has an online patient portal platform for communications, etc. with us. This is where we can see upcoming appointments and view instructions, etc. On here, I see that I am booked for four appointments. My understanding is that insurance might cover the cost of blood work or an ultrasound, so this is simply a billing code issue. I only have one appointment but I have 4 things happening.
5. BCP is killer. I have never reacted well to BCP, and this time is no exception. Headaches, mood swings, anxiety, and the list goes on.
6. Make room in your fridge for your meds. You will get a huge box of meds sent to you. All your medication will be paid for and delivered to you at once. You will have these lovely boxes of meds taunting you and waiting for you in your fridge while you wait to start stims.
7. Ask for numbing cream. Ice helps some, but it actually makes the skin tighter, which can make the shot hurt more in the end. My dr. gave me lidocaine cream for my injections, and I loved it. I put it on and put a little patch over it and let it sit for about 30 minutes before getting my shot. I still ended up with sore and swollen haunches, but the numbing cream really helped.
8. You will swell. IVF weight gain is a real thing. before I was through with the procedure, I looked like I was already a couple of months pregnant. When you inject medications in your tummy, you swell.
9. You will be tired. SO tired. Add the tired to the headaches and nausea and you will want to crawl into a small hole. My first IVF, I did just that. I was home alone most days and I binge watched Netflix and stayed in bed on my bad days. This time I have a toddler to take care of, so I won't be able to do that. Sad.
10. Follistem medication is super easy to administer, and you feel like a secret agent or a spy when you use it. It comes in a cool zipper case with an injection pen. These are the only shots I can do for myself.
11. Even if you are wonder woman and can do your shots yourself, let your husband do it. (If he wants to) there isn't much he can do to help you through this time. He will feel helpless and like he is a little out of the loop on this whole process. Having Cam give me my shots and be involved daily in this way helped him to feel more in on the whole process and made me feel better about not being in it alone. It gave me a sense of camaraderie with him that we were going through it together.
12. Some shots hurt and burn when going in. The shot its self usually isn't that bad. The medication entering your body is what burns. There isn't much you can do for this. Just be brave. This too will pass.
13. Progesterone shots. These are super thick. When you do these shots, be sure and warm up the oil a bit before you administer it. I have heard of some people drawing it up into the needle and then putting the safety cap back on it and then warming it up. You can rub the syringe between the palms of your hands or, you can put it in your bra between your boobs for a few minutes. You laugh, but it works. Even after you warm it, inject this medicine slowly. Do not try to do it too fast.
14. You will leak. I ruined a set of amazing sheets and a blanket because my injection site leaked. After the PIO injection, I always put a cotton ball over it and also a large band aid. Some days this was enough. Some days it wasn't. If you are afraid of ruining good bedding, use cheap stuff, or sleep on a puppy pad. seriously. Those are the same thing as the bed liner things used in the hospital but are much cheaper.
15. Set an alarm so you never forget your meds. It is hard to think of a reason you might forget your meds, but, believe me, it does happen. I never missed a shot in my first round, except for one PIO shot, which I didn't forget, but missed entirely because I was locked out of my London flat (we were visiting some friends) and was forced to stay in a hotel. I was sick that I had missed my shot but it was ok. The dr. wasn't worried.
16. Constipation. As with early pregnancy, constipation will haunt you. I was great friends with raisin bran and prune juice and I ate a lot of fruit to try to unblock my system. All those hormones do horrible things to your colon and it protests. Colace was also a great friend during this time. It was the recommended medication for me from my RE.
17. Try to rest. knowing that I am in for a crazy couple of weeks, I am currently at my mom's house just hanging out with my family for a few days. (I have my baseline day after tomorrow) I am actually not getting as much sleep as I would at home, but it is good rest for my spirit. It has really helped me for time to pass quickly as we are having fun and to be able to play with my nieces and nephews and to relax. When I get home I plan to do as little as possible.
18. Get ready to feel pregnant. Mood swings, nausea, hot flashes, bloating, constipation and weight gain, sore boobs, etc. are all symptoms of the medications. When you are in the 2ww, and you are having every sign of pregnancy it can be torture not knowing if you are truly pregnant or not.
19. Piggy-backing on the last point, resist the temptation to do a HPT before 14 days. If you trigger with ovidrel, like me, (This is hCG that triggers ovulation) it can stay in your system for about 14 days. Your body eliminates approximately half of the hCG that is in your system every 23-25 hours, so after 14 days, it should be completely gone. Having all the symptoms and testing too early and getting a false positive would make a negative beta (blood test) unbearable.
20. Relax and try not to freak out. In this process, part of your rational brain seems to disappear, and you are playing a high-risk game while on a hormone roller coaster that makes you crazy. Don't over analyze every single thing that comes your way. If you have questions, ask your dr. Write them down and ask him. You can use online groups for encouragement and support, and they can be useful for answering questions. HOWEVER, do not depend or rely on this information source. Every cycle and patient is unique and what worked for one person might not work for you.
21. Don't freak out about your beta numbers. As long as your dr. doesn't seem concerned, rely on his expertise. Don't ask for other's beta numbers and try to compare them to your situation. This does no good and can add unnecessary stress to and already stressful situation.
22. I know we covered this already, but ASK QUESTIONS. No question is stupid. Go to your email patient portal, phone, text, etc. and ask those questions. The person answering them is paid by your Dr. to do so. You are not being a bother or causing more work for someone. If you have a concern, voice it. Now, if you find you are calling several times a day, you might consider keeping a running list of questions you can ask all at once or when you go to your next appointment.
23. Don't worry about what others think. Share your story publicly, or not - it is totally up to you. Be prepared for varied responses, but NEVER let someone's opinion make you feel bad about your choice to do IVF. You and your spouse, and your medical team (hopefully with a lot of prayer and discussion) have started this process, and it is for you, not for anyone else. If you would like to share but are scared about other's reactions, I encourage you to share. Send me your story and I will publish it on here (even anonymously if you like) Embrace the positive comments and those who are supporting you, and ignore the rest. There are far more people out there that care about you and are pushing for you than the opposite.
24. There is a vampire living at your clinic. I am convinced of this. They took enough blood from me to feed the Cullen family for a year. While, I ended up bruised and sometimes feeling really weak, it is necessary and totally worth it. If you are scared of needles, as I am, do this:
Pump and squeeze the fist of the arm they are going to do the draw on. While doing that, raise the opposite foot and point the toe. Concentrate on this and slowly and intentionally breathe out. Your brain will have so much to process that you won't really notice the needle. I used to close my eyes on top of all of this, but I am now actually able to watch the vials fill. I still can't watch the stick, but I have come a long way.
I think I could go on for quite a few more points, but I think I will leave you with just one more.
25. PRAY. Remember, that God has not forsaken you. Even on the days when you are crawling into your pillow fort with Downton on the tv and a pile of dark chocolate near by, God is there. He cares for you and he wants the best for you. He knows the plans He has for you and will work for you. I'm not saying that guarantees you a baby, but I am saying that with God on your side, what can you fear? Be strong. Be bold. Be confident and rest in the loving arms of your father who is carrying you through this valley of life.
If you have been through this, feel free to comment with any tips you have. I always love hearing from you!
19. Piggy-backing on the last point, resist the temptation to do a HPT before 14 days. If you trigger with ovidrel, like me, (This is hCG that triggers ovulation) it can stay in your system for about 14 days. Your body eliminates approximately half of the hCG that is in your system every 23-25 hours, so after 14 days, it should be completely gone. Having all the symptoms and testing too early and getting a false positive would make a negative beta (blood test) unbearable.
20. Relax and try not to freak out. In this process, part of your rational brain seems to disappear, and you are playing a high-risk game while on a hormone roller coaster that makes you crazy. Don't over analyze every single thing that comes your way. If you have questions, ask your dr. Write them down and ask him. You can use online groups for encouragement and support, and they can be useful for answering questions. HOWEVER, do not depend or rely on this information source. Every cycle and patient is unique and what worked for one person might not work for you.
21. Don't freak out about your beta numbers. As long as your dr. doesn't seem concerned, rely on his expertise. Don't ask for other's beta numbers and try to compare them to your situation. This does no good and can add unnecessary stress to and already stressful situation.
22. I know we covered this already, but ASK QUESTIONS. No question is stupid. Go to your email patient portal, phone, text, etc. and ask those questions. The person answering them is paid by your Dr. to do so. You are not being a bother or causing more work for someone. If you have a concern, voice it. Now, if you find you are calling several times a day, you might consider keeping a running list of questions you can ask all at once or when you go to your next appointment.
23. Don't worry about what others think. Share your story publicly, or not - it is totally up to you. Be prepared for varied responses, but NEVER let someone's opinion make you feel bad about your choice to do IVF. You and your spouse, and your medical team (hopefully with a lot of prayer and discussion) have started this process, and it is for you, not for anyone else. If you would like to share but are scared about other's reactions, I encourage you to share. Send me your story and I will publish it on here (even anonymously if you like) Embrace the positive comments and those who are supporting you, and ignore the rest. There are far more people out there that care about you and are pushing for you than the opposite.
24. There is a vampire living at your clinic. I am convinced of this. They took enough blood from me to feed the Cullen family for a year. While, I ended up bruised and sometimes feeling really weak, it is necessary and totally worth it. If you are scared of needles, as I am, do this:
Pump and squeeze the fist of the arm they are going to do the draw on. While doing that, raise the opposite foot and point the toe. Concentrate on this and slowly and intentionally breathe out. Your brain will have so much to process that you won't really notice the needle. I used to close my eyes on top of all of this, but I am now actually able to watch the vials fill. I still can't watch the stick, but I have come a long way.
I think I could go on for quite a few more points, but I think I will leave you with just one more.
25. PRAY. Remember, that God has not forsaken you. Even on the days when you are crawling into your pillow fort with Downton on the tv and a pile of dark chocolate near by, God is there. He cares for you and he wants the best for you. He knows the plans He has for you and will work for you. I'm not saying that guarantees you a baby, but I am saying that with God on your side, what can you fear? Be strong. Be bold. Be confident and rest in the loving arms of your father who is carrying you through this valley of life.
If you have been through this, feel free to comment with any tips you have. I always love hearing from you!
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