"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." ~Unknown
I have been thinking a lot about the changes coming into our lives, and the implications of those changes. Our lives are about to do a complete 180. Not only will our sleep schedule change, but even our thinking processes will change. It is no longer about the two of us, and what we want, but what is best for our child. If I research the best car seat, and which, if any, vaccinations I want my kid to have, and choose the crib, based on safety reviews, why would I not think beyond the physical? I will be held accountable not only for how safe I keep him, but how I raised him. It is my job to help mold his character, and to teach him principles and lessons that will last a lifetime.
I am learning that you see everything differently as a parent. You see through the lenses of safety and health, of teaching and learning and being an example. Henry is not even here yet, and I find myself thinking, what behaviors do I want him to model? How do I teach him those? I want him to learn patience. Ok, so that means I can't get upset with the driver who is taking forever to make the turn, or grumble about the line at walmart. What are my other options? How do I teach patience? How would I be an example? To model patience in my own life, I would simply ignore the slow driver - you never know, he could be keeping you from a wreck up the road, etc. In the Walmart line, instead of sighing, and tapping my toes, and having a generally bad attitude, use it as an opportunity. Show character, and even Christ, in the situation. Smile at those comrades in line with you, they don't want to be there either. Don't be upset with the cashier - They are going as fast as they can.
I use those examples, because both of them happened to me today. I practiced patience, and I was actually blessed because of it. Instead of leaving walmart in a bad mood, I was put in a better state of mind, because I gave a grandma an opportunity to brag about her grand babies. She was beaming, telling me about them. No, I did not know her, and I would not recognize her if I saw her again, but she made me smile, and I gave her an opportunity to think about something good. For all I know, she was having a really bad day, and she needed to be able to talk about something she loves.
One of the biggest, and most important things I want to teach Henry is love for God. I never want him to be ashamed of faith. He could end up being more of an introvert, like Cameron, but even introverts need to show the love of Jesus to those around them. I have been feeling challenged in this lately. I want to be the best example I can be to my child. In order to do that, I have to be where I need to be spiritually. Henry may never feel free to share, or talk about his faith, if it is never modeled before him. I want him to study the Word, so I have to make it more of a priority in my own life, so when he is grown up, he remembers seeing me actively following my faith, and not just in theory.
Today, in walmart, I was given an opportunity to stretch myself a bit. There was a lady with a very cute toddler in her basket. I passed them, and the toddler started talking to me. She showed me her toothbrush, and smiled a smile that would melt anyone's heart. I smiled back, but kept my distance. As both of us continued to shop, we ended up meeting in the middle of every single aisle. We laughed, and started talking. She was sending her youngest off to college, and I am just having my first. We were in two different places in life. She asked about the baby, his name, when I was due, etc. She asked if I had felt kicks yet, and she got a little nostalgic, remembering her own baby kicks. I could have smiled and moved on at this point, but something inside me told me to continue. It was not just me wanting to talk about my baby. It came from deep inside. I have had this feeling before, and I have to say, I have ignored it many times. Today, I chose to go with it. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out "I am a Christian, and I love Jesus. This is a miracle baby." I continued, telling her, in as few words a possible, that I was told I would never have my own children. I told her the reader's digest version of our IVF experience, and how it is simply a miracle. "I do not believe abortion is right, no matter what, but having been through this, and now, experiencing life inside me, and being in awe at the miracle in our lives, I can only thank God, and say, that life is a blessing in and of it's self, and it is sacred." This lady, right in the shampoo aisle, started crying. Not knowing really how to handle the situation, I said, "I'm sorry. I don't even know you, and here I am telling you my story." She responded, "No, I am so glad you did. You never know what God has in store for this child. To be able to tell your story is a blessing to others. Thank you."
Will I ever know why I felt such a great need to share with this stranger? Probably not. Did it make a huge difference in her life? Most likely, no. If I were to guess, she was also a Believer, so I probably did not help to lead her to salvation. It does not matter though. For whatever reason, I did share, and it did not hurt anything. If nothing else, two strangers connected in walmart, two women, with seemingly nothing in common shared the love of God with each other. The lights did not flicker, and nothing powerful happened to speak of, but that shampoo aisle became church. God was honored, His name was exalted, and I personally left with a feeling of fullness, of gratitude. I could have ignored that feeling, and had a perfectly wonderful day. Actually, my day probably would have been more productive, because I would be cleaning my house, instead of writing this post. Had I done that, I would have missed not only being a blessing, but receiving a blessing.
As I said, I have felt challenged in this area lately, and this could have very well been an opportunity for me to share in a very small way. Baby steps. I hope I have more opportunities like this one. After all, I want to model this behavior to Henry. I want him to see daily, ordinary interactions with God. I want him to understand that God is not dead. He lives and moves in our world, every day, everywhere. Rather you are in Walmart, or the church sanctuary, he can make an appearance. You just have to be open to it.
