God has all of this in His capable hands and it will work out as He sees fit.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
~Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)

November 16th, 2016

This morning, I find myself pacing the floors, trying to keep my nervousness and excitement in check. I have attempted to clean the kitchen, but am even too distracted to accomplish that task. Earlier, I had a couple of errands to run, including taking the dog to the groomer. It was only after completing some errands and heading to the groomers that I realized I had left the dog at home.

Today is the first of many Dr.'s appointments for our 2nd attempt at IVF. We had thought we were together on the decision to not do it again, but after much discussion, prayer, and looking throughly at our options, we decided to do the procedure. We had a plan in place, which included a Dr.'s visit in January, followed by a possible March cycle. We sat on that decision, praying and talking about it for several weeks. These weeks, I have been working on dropping some extra baby weight I never lost with H, and I have been in the final weeks of weaning him. On a side note, It has now been 3 days since he last nursed, and I am glad to be done, and also really sad that he is one step closer to being a big boy.

Monday of this week, Cam and I talked about the IVF procedure again, and decided it was time to call in and make our appointment. Cam said to, "Make it as soon as possible." Thinking it would be much like the first time, and we would have to wait months for he appointment, I was shocked when we were offered a Wednesday appointment, for that same week. There was a cancelation right before I called, and the time slot was mine if I want it. Of course, I texted Cam, asking if he really meant 'as soon as possible', and then took the appointment. I asked the nurse / scheduling lady about the possibility of doing a January cycle, since we would have plenty of time to do all the testing, etc. required before the procedure. She was confident that, if the Dr. agreed, we would be able to do a January cycle.

JANUARY!!! I could be pregnant as early as the end of January! In my mind, I have been preparing to do a March cycle, and to be pregnant by the end of March. Pushing the timeline up by 2 months means I will be nearly through my first trimester by the time I had originally planned on getting pregnant.

I am blown away. What a fantastic (Yeah, really early) Christmas present.

We have been preparing our hearts, minds and yes, my body, for twins. As hard as it would be to have two babies, we both feel that transferring two embryos is the best decision for our family. We would have transferred two with H, but he was the only embryo we had. All it took was one beautiful, healthy blastocyst to make our perfect little boy. We would be content with one again, but we are preparing ourselves for the possibility of a multiple pregnancy.

Of course, there is that possibility too, that this procedure will not work. I am aware of the statistics and the chances of a positive pregnancy. However, I have a great feeling about all of this. God has all of this in His capable hands and it will work out as He sees fit. If this procedure does not work, I know I will be devastated, but I will move past the grief and give God the glory for the wonderful life we have and the Son he has already blessed us with.

The first time we had this appointment, almost 3 years ago, we went in expecting to pick out a sperm donor from a book. (Not sure if that is actually how it is done, but I've seen it in movies, so it must be accurate) This time, we are feeling much more confident, and like old pros at this IVF thing. We are looking forward to seeing the Dr. we both loved and highly respect, who was able to help us get Henry. We are optimistic and excited about this appointment.

Hopefully we leave the appointment with as much enthusiasm as we have going into it. This is the beginning of a long line of Dr.'s appointments, blood draws, surgeries, ultra sounds, shots and other painful and emotionally, (not to mention financially) draining procedures. We are going into it with our eyes wide open. There might be more anxiety, knowing what to expect, than there was the first time, blindly doing what we were told. This time, I am armed with a notebook full of questions and expect good answers. The fist time, there weren't many questions, because we didn't have a clue what we were getting into.